Meet Jenna – A Scientific Introduction
Hello Come On Upsters! (We’ll work on that nickname, I promise)
Nice to e-meet you all. I’m your new digital host, Jenna. I’m a writer and filmmaker from Canada.
Rather than introduce myself to you in the usual way, with a boring, biased and frankly awkward About Me, I’ve asked my very good friend Sir David Attenborough to say a little something on my behalf by summarizing me, in the way he does best.
We make each other laugh.
I look forward to telling you all about my adventures in Japan and in a Come On Up! Sharehouse.
NATURAL HABITAT & MIGRATION PATTERN
Jennas originated in the urban jungles of western Canada and have migrated across the world to inhabit even larger cities, like Tokyo.
It is rare to see a Jenna outside of its burrow, particularly in the summer months. They emerge only near dusk and dawn to collect the materials they use to build their nests: metal hooks, silk scarves and discarded plants.
Most Jennas are highly social beings who require at least 4 and up to 10 hours of companionship per day. Some scientists have gone so far as to categorize this behaviour as “needy” but those scientists are just jealous.
Only certain other species are tolerant of such communication strategies.
It is suspected that Jennas are closely related to the raccoon family due to their nimble, grabby little paws, messy eating habits and penchant for collecting garbage.
Jennas are famously competitive and are known to frequently engage other species in battles of wit and braun. They enjoy, but do not excel at challenges such as dodgeball, Jeopardy and tabletop gaming.
Unlike many mammals, this behavior is not meant to establish dominance. Nor is it considered a mating ritual (although if you know any men that are super into Scrabble please let me Jenna know…)
It is, in fact, used to forge social bonds and create a strong, well-rounded pack.
Most discerning outdoorsmen know that the Jenna is easier found by sound than by sight. Although its rapid vocalizations can be difficult to decipher for those with
an untrained ear, its distinctive, often shrill call is how many keen trackers know to find this elusive beast.
In the winter, her fur thickens to create the unmistakable markings of a Canadian, the genus to which she belongs.
Jennas are only able to molt a maximum of one layer, even in the summer months and so are cursed to wear knit sweaters year-round. It is during this time that a Jenna can be most easily located by the unmistakable trail of sweat which can be traced back to its lair.
Jennas are omnivores that can subsist on nearly anything that they find in their environment. However, with infinite resources, a free Jenna will prepare elaborate meals for itself and even other species in the vicinity, making an ideal ally for scavengers. Favourite cuisines include Lebanese, Mexican and Korean.
To tempt one out of its burrow, mint chocolate ice cream is a surefire trick.
- People who say “Let’s agree to disagree”
- Jenna Elzein
- Jenna Elzein
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